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Pound of Dark Matter

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Pound Of Dark Matter

Example of Dark Matter shown above

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Pound of Dark Matter

1 star (3 customer reviews)

List Price: $19.99/lbs

YOUR Price: $9.99/lbs

You Save: $10.00/lbs (50%)

IN STOCK! Ships and sold by ONLY DARK MATTERS

Want it delivered by tomorrow? Two days? Standard shipping?

Sold by the pound.  Be sure to designate how many pounds desired on the check out page.

SPECIAL TODAY ONLY!  FREE SHIPPING ON ALL ORDERS OVER 20 lbs.

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HOLD ON THERE!  NO MORE ORDERS ACCEPTED UNTIL QUALITY CONTROL IS ADDRESSED (see description)

Product Details

It’s one of the greatest mysteries of all time…what is dark matter?

The prevailing belief of bearded, glasses-wearing cosmologists (and, to be fair, most other cosmologists, too) is that dark matter makes up greater than 20% of the universe.  And yet these same cosmologists have no real idea what dark matter is!  Is it…leptons or other bosons?  Is it…brown dwarfs?  Is it…something freaky bleeding in from another dimension?

Here’s your chance to be the life of your cosmology party (and, believe us, we know that those parties can use more life) by bringing a couple of pounds of dark matter for all to see, feel and touch!  Be the envy of all your cosmological friends!  Attract the interest of, and funding for, numerous research projects.

Your Dark Matter will come specially packaged to preserve its darkness.  NOTE: care must be taken when opening your packaged Dark Matter.  Please read all instructions before opening.

Indicate the quantity of Dark Matter that you want during check out.

Note from QSD

Unfortunately, until quality control matters are rectified, we can not accept any orders for Dark Matter.

Specifically, we’ve received too many complaints that ONLY DARK MATTERS has shipped nothing but an empty, dark box.  Just look through the comments below; time and time again, an eager buyer has opened a recently delivered box, only to be crestfallen by its emptiness.

To be fair, ONLY DARK MATTERS has issued this general response:

“People, people!  Read the instructions BEFORE opening the box!  We are shipping you DARK MATTER.  It’s very hard to see by its very nature!  Think about it…people waaaaay smarter than you, and with waaaaaaay bigger telescopes than you, have been looking for this stuff for some time now.  It’s tough to see…but it’s in there.  We promise.”

Surprisingly this statement has failed to sooth the concerns of angry buyers.  Until light is shone on this matter, we can not accept any new orders.

Customer Reviews

Everybody found this review to be helpful

0 stars RipOff!  There was nothing in the box!, October 1, 2011

By The Dark Side (Cleveland, OH)

I know, I know…I should have listened to the reviewers below.  It was the same thing with me.  I get the box, excited as can be, rip it open and NADA.  Nothing.  Nope.  Zippo.  I don’t know who these people think they are, but I’m gonna report them to the BBB.

Oh, yeah, there was some paper or something that came taped to the outside of the box, but I never read instructions, so I just threw it away.

This is totally their fault.  Do not buy from these people (assuming they’re people).

8 out of 9 people found this review to be helpful

0 stars I want my dark matter, July 32, 2011.

By D’ohBoy (Berkely, CA)

Great deal, until they ship you NOTHING.  Nice box, though.

No one found this review to be helpful

3 stars I love the box!, June 1, 2011.

By It’s Darkest Before the Dawn But Not Really (Chicago, IL)

This shipped in the greatest box EVER!  My kids played with the box.  My cats played with the box.  I use the box ALL THE TIME!  I use it to hold stuff up.  I store stuff in it.  I even use it as a stepping stool!  And it’s absolutely gorgeous!

5 star box all the way.  Wow.  Totally recommended.  Buy this, you won’t be sorry.

Btw, I deducted 2 stars because I didn’t get what I ordered, or anything at all really.  But the box is awesome!

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