Top Ten Reasons String Theory May Not Be Your Thing
QSDWire – October, 2011
It seems that everyone is high on string theory these days. Heck, there’s even a Top Ten list of Reasons To Be A String Theorist (and we strongly suggest clicking on that link, but only after you read this top ten list).
But, you know, string theory isn’t for everybody. We here at the QSDWire understand your confusion…should you become a string theorist or not? Is string theory for you? These are weighty questions, ones that require at least a moment or two’s thoughts. And of course, we’re here to help. We’re not suggesting you lean one way or the other, but here’s the Top Ten Reasons String Theory May Not Be Your Thing:
I don't get it!
What? You don’t get one of the Reasons? We’re…shocked…likely because we don’t really get them either. But here goes:
Reason 10: Calabi-Yau is fun to say. Try it. You’ll like it.
Reason 9: You see, string theory contemplates dimensions 5 through 11 (at least M-Brane variations). More dimensions, like gaining weight. Get it? If not, we suggest stopping reading right now…it doesn’t get any better below…
Reason 8: Because the song “MMMBop” is enough to frighten anyone into stuttering.
Reasons 6 & 7: Because strings can’t have all the fun.
Reason 5: The strings in String Theory oscillate. They vibrate. ALL OF THE TIME. They’re everywhere, ON YOUR SKIN RIGHT NOW. Try to NOT scratch now, or go to sleep for that matter…
Reason 4: Ok, this one’s a bit mean, and we apologize for that. But if you’re looking for fame and fortune, you might want to look in another area of study. Just sayin’
Reason 3: Plank sizes are really, really small. With today’s technology you can’t REALLY see the strings. You have to envision them in your mind, like true string theorists do, but without mind altering substances.
Reason 2: Think of this one in terms of results…here are the results of a Google image search for “M-Brane“. You can compare that to the results for a Google image search for the term “adult magazine”. Note the subtle differences.
Reason 1: Quantum Loop Gravity is a competing theory…may the best theory win! :)